Thursday, March 3, 2016

Things I Believe In

...at the age of 19.
Hello, tout le monde! I know I've been absent for more than 2 months and the only thing I told you about was a crazy wedding I was this close to absolutely slay but flopped in the end.
Nevertheless, thoughts in my mind keep on flowing and I can't keep them bottled in. I still experience with the format of my blog and I liked the post I did about Q&A where the information was given in little items. I like this form myself, so give me a try this time too. I had some draughts and I made up my mind to unite them all under the theme I have stated in the title. (Oh my, I'm writing this like it's an official report. What an atta-girl)
So, commençons! Here are some things I believe in.

I believe in the chance.
Many things happened to me were incidents. They happened by chance or Fortuna helped, I don't know. On the other hand, I'm also aware of the fact that there are no accidents, all the incidents aren't incidental. But all these things are so mixed! I like the word 'fate'. Because in some cases I can see the system, the line, the process how I came from one situation to another. In other cases, something just happens and *boom!* I'm da boss.
For example, my second American trip (yes, I know, you're all fed up with it). It's clear how I got there - I still had a visa from my first American travel. But how did my parents agree to send me to the USA in 2013? Mystery. Luck. Fate. And in this 2015 adventure, how did I meet particular people? You see, I could communicate to them during my 9 Californian days, then say goodbye, shed a tear and that's all. But no! It's been about half a year since then and I still keep in touch (more or less) with some people I met there. How did I run exactly into those people? How on earth did one man decide to offer me a drink, and now he suggests me the greatest films and tunes? How? Mystery. Luck. Fate.
And only by this holy chance my bestie Cherry Lady and I sent our docs to the same university. We'd never talked about entering the same university, and one day we discussed our higher education's plans and went, "I'm sending my docs to FEFU" - "Hey, me too!" And here we are sharing one room and one specialisation!
Even back in the 5th grade of school, when my that time best friend kinda betrayed me and ditched me. I was walking to my music school all depressed when I accidently ran into Dasha who comforted me and said she was still my friend, and so we grew into best friends.
These are just a few stories from my life but I must convince you that accident things happen to me on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel like I live in the ancient Greek roman where a chance was da boss.

I believe in my country.
I'm a cosmopolitan, but it doesn't disclaim my warm attitude to my country. The more I travel, the more advantages I see in Russia, the better I understand my Motherland.
I'm not the person to talk about politics or economics but I can't deny the controversial situation in our world these days. But it's all about history. History always repeats. Russia has always had breakdowns but don't you know yourself it's always risen like a phoenix? I'm not a Slavophil but I totally agree that Russia has its own way of progressing.
After my long winter vacation on Sakhalin when I arrived back in Vladivostok, I took a train from the airport downtown. I was watching the outskirts and was thinking about how amazing my country is. Russia is different. Of course, the most picturesque views are in summer, but there is some special charm in winter. There's always something to see every season. One British friend of mine says that if he ever visits Russia, he'll come in summer. But seeing those little cottages covered with snow, I catch myself thinking I'd like him to see it, I want him to experience Russia in winter. Even though we both hate cold.
I admire other countries; you know I left my heart in LA, can't but dream about visiting France and Italy and etc. But when I'm abroad I feel Russian more than I do while practically in Russia. I don't think I'll live in Russia forever. I can see myself with a foreign husband and bilingual children (I've always seen). My idee fixe is to spend my old age somewhere near Marseille in the Côte d'Azur.
But deep down I've always felt proud of myself (and my fellow-countrymen) for one thing - people of other nations may only guess how it is to be Russian, how it's to live in Russia, and I know how it is.

I believe in love.
Not so long ago I showed one man my poetry and he asked if I had something, not about love. I wanted to protest in the beginning but then decided to keep silence wisely especially since I had a couple of poems not about love.
I don't remember at what age I realized that everything in this world was about love (earlier than I decided that I was a cosmopolitan). You love your parents, you love your sweetheart, you love your pet, you love your food... I'm not talking about the extremes when people are willing to marry a chair or something.
One song says, "What is this thing called love that you speak?" It's a good question indeed. Love is a feeling, that's for sure. Love is affection, love is an attachment. Love is trust.
My kids in the summer camp always giggled when I started talking about love and warm feelings we should have shown to each other. Then I explained to them that love was not only between lovers or spouses but between friends, and parents and their children, between me as their teacher and them as my wards. They understood.
For example, I'm bad at talking to people to whom I don't feel anything, in whom I'm not interested. But when I think the person I'm with is right, I can speak for hours, though the words may be nonsense. Because for my mind, talking, chatting is a way to show my feelings, to show that I'm comfortable with someone. Not all the information we share is important. It shouldn't be always important. If I tell you some silly things that have no value but I really want you to know, it means I value you and you're important to me and I trust you. I don't always pour out all the thoughts which are on my mind. But when I do, it means I think you're someone I can trust. And I already love you as a good human being.
So, I can discourse on the issue of love for hours, but one thing is clear:
Love can save this world, that's for sure.

I believe in art.
Because life imitates art, and art imitates life. You may suppose that I have such an opinion only because I study the humanities but it's kinda vice versa. I study the humanities because I know and appreciate the power of art.
The concept, the meaning of art is so fragile nowadays. I can pour the paint on my (or someone's) naked body, tie up some sentimental 'message' and easily call it 'The Art'. I can repeat "I love you" 83 times to a silly tune and call it "The Art". I can take a picture of a mug, add a couple of filters, again say that it carries a huge 'message' and call it "The Art". At the same time, a person may work for months on a painting and no one could appreciate it. Someone can have an amazing voice but cannot use it right because of lack of money, connections and etc. I don't mean that everything must be bought nowadays. I mean that the most of the things they sell or show are of low quality, that stuff is nonsense. Of course, there's is the true art nowadays as well. The world isn't totally doomed. That's why I believe in art and that it will arise and inspire.
My literature professor has told us that our days are like the Middle Ages. Those times, the most people didn't read (because they couldn't) so they listened to the ones who owned the knowledge. The knowledge was elitist. Nowadays people don't read too. Well, we do but not the same amount as people did a century or two ago. Many things have influenced why people gave up reading and self-teaching and enlarging their knowledge. And it's strange because today we have so many sources to educate ourselves: the same old books, e-books, the holy Internet, TV, masterclasses and video-lessons. I'm not talking about particular fields of knowledge like languages or science. I'm talking about general erudition! The art, the science, the phycology, the philosophy... There are so many things to discover day by day but not every person does it. And so the world is ruled by those who do discover the depth of human knowledge. The knowledge is elitist again.
Nowadays art isn't much about educating its observers. But it should be, it might have been. They always try to entertain us but they'd rather educate us. The world is overwhelmed with entertainment but it lacks art.



Be brave

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