Sunday, January 28, 2018


Television is a part of media, a kind of art on its own. Some people thought TV would die out with the spreading of the Internet. But we all know it has not. It goes the same way as people thought newspapers and theatre and books would die out with the invention of TV. Well, of course nowadays the Holy Grail of Internet has a HUGE influence on everything and everyone. And television seems to integrate with the Internet somehow. You know, all these smart TVs with the Internet and all the jazz I don't have. But what I do have is my smart-ass laptop with the Internet that gives me access to all the kinds of TV shows I wanna watch.

And the shows we watch influence our lives heavily. Especially with this binge-watching trend. If you only knew that right now as I'm typing this text a drag queen in my head voices over the words with the intonations of all my favorite drag queens that I saw on RuPaul's Drag Race because Cherry Lady and I binge-watched it all last academic year long. And now from time to time (read: often) I watch recommended videos with them on YouTube. And last academic year Cherry Lady and I used to wear heavy makeup almost every day. It was no big deal to put on a cut crease eye makeup and go to classes. Actually, it's still no big deal for me but it feels quite unnecessary or what? Sometimes I look through my last year's photos and I'm like, "Wow, gurl! You did that?? Oh my!" (in a positive way). Even though I still can pull off heavy, bright, glittery makeup ('cause ain't no other lady put it down like me) but I just don't. I discussed it with Cherry Lady, and we came to the conclusion that we don't put on heavy makeup this often now because we stopped watching the show this regularly, we don't see the image so often, we don't get influenced so hard. But now I binge-watch America's Next Top Model. So I've noticed that I've started to look after the way I walk and pose on the photographs, I listen carefully to the advice Tyra Banks gives to the contestants and try to apply them in my mere life. And I am only one of a million examples. Some may go to the extremes.

And for sure TV guys know this. TV has been regulating watchers for a pretty long time. As my one and only Beyoncé sings in her "Pretty Hurts", "Blonder hair, flat chest, TV says bigger is better". Many TV shows, beauty pageant broadcasted on TV, series have been dictating people all around the world how we should look, how we should act, how we should live. Thankfully, some of the shows are changing for the better. As in ANTM that I mentioned just in the previous paragraph, Miss Tyra breaks height, weight, gender, race, age stereotypes - and more to come! She's out there to show that we're all beautiful - it's all about how we show ourselves, how we make a statement. Talking about RuPaul's Drag Race, well it's always been about broadening people's worldview, being beautiful inside and outside, and being in peace with yourself.

Well, I've talked only about two TV shows. Unfortunately, there are other programs that are not so good and helpful. I don't know about the rest of the world but here in Russia they can broadcast shows with unproved information and make it seem true like all the languages are derived from Russian. And it's just a small example. Fortunately, tho, that these types of programs are shown on the less popular channels but still - there are people who watch them! News - I won't even try to understand this kind of TV program. Well, I'm okay with the general and entertaining ones. But when it comes to some serious stuff... Gurl, I am no pro in politics, or economics, or whatever... whatsoever. But I know this shit is biased. And I don't know whom to trust. You know all about tough situations in the world. But do we know the truth? Who's right, who's guilty? I think, no TV, no newspaper, no Internet site will tell you. So what I do is try to avoid this kind of information, my life is stressed enough on its own. Or sometimes I can read an article or two on BBC website. But still, I keep my critical thinking on!
I know that nowadays many series are already made to be uploaded to the Internet. Or this Netflix that I don't have - it's like TV but not TV at the same time! I think this is the future of TV. But how wrong I am - it's not the future, it's our reality. (Probably, I was talking about my own future - one day I will have Netflix, won't I?)

Anyway, thanks for reading! It's been another task from Room to Write Project. Now share your thoughts on TV with me! <3 p="">

Be brave

Thursday, January 25, 2018

HALLELOO I'M BACK! Introducing Room To Write Project

Hello, everyone! You know it feels quite strange seeing this site page again. I have forgotten where to type in the title! And you might ask me, "Why are you back, young lady?" Here's my story, hun.
Nowadays I'm free from my studying, from exams, from anything (except for some tutoring werq, of course). So I decided that I don't want to let my body and brains destroy themselves. Hence, I committed myself to a 30-day yoga challenge (yaaaaas!) and I remembered about the book I had bought ~omg~ 5 years ago in the United God-bless-them States of America. It's Room to Write by Bonni Goldberg, I must have written about it here a thousand times.
I tried to follow it some years ago in Russian, but I gave up right after the 1st post. So now I feel like giving it another try, but in the language of William Shakespear and Beyoncé now. I've decided to call it Room to Write Project because for me it's a real project. I'll be writing a task given me in the book, then I will or will not add some stories from the life that I have now. I'll title my posts according to the titles of the tasks. Only today the title is different 'cause, umm, you know, it's the first one in a long time. But I'm giving the task's title below anyway. Nevertheless, give me a chance.

Memory Is Imagination

I remember writing here every day to develop my English skills in the beginning, then - just for fun. It brought me so much joy and pleasure. Understanding that I could express my thoughts in another language (sometimes even better than in my native language), it made me so happy! It still does. Somehow, I let my blog alone, buried it in the lack of time and under 'more important' stuff. I remember I wanted my blog to be big and important, maybe even profitable. But everything needs patience and hard work I didn't wanna put in.

I remember living without a roommate for 2 months at the beginning of this academic year. When I arrived on campus in September, I lived with a pregnant Colombian girl for about a week. Then she fled somewhere I didn't know to give birth to her baby. That's how I was blessed to live without anyone else in my room for 2 months. However, when I left the dorm for the weekend, I tried to leave the room clean in case my new roommate would arrive so she would do it in a clean room.
However! My new roommate appeared in the middle of the week close to the end of the semester when I didn't wait for anybody and was already sure that no one would be moved in my room till the end of the exams session. So I had to run around the room trying to cram all my belongings into the space given to one person (there is a place for 2 persons in our room, so I had been using almost all of it). The girl is a freshman (or freshwoman, modern world), so I think it's okay she has no experience of living independently. But I think she also has no common sense and logic. When we started living together, she would bring all her friends in the room after I went to sleep. They would be whispering to each other. I was like, "Is it okay for you to whisper all along?" No one dared answer. I insisted, "No, really, tell me, is it okay for you?" My roommate's boyfriend acted as the bravest, "Yes". And I cut him, "BUT IT'S NO FOR ME". And then crept from the room apologizing.
It wasn't the last time her boyfriend had to apologize because for a long time he made himself home in our room. I was patient enough, considering it was just a dormitory life. But I ran out of my patience when that fucking boyfriend took my pan's glass top without my permission and broke it! And neither my roommate nor her boyfriend told me about it until I was looking for the top the next day. Moreover, they announced me that via a text. Even though they had at least 3 chances to tell me that in person. It means that both of them just don't have balls to speak truth face to face. Still, as we've been living together for more than a month, my roommate would rather text me than tell me something or suggest something in person. My friends and I think she's afraid of me. Well, I don't mind if she is, I don't mind if she isn't. The only thing I know for sure is that I can't bear her sweet-sweet boyfriend who, I reckon, just hasn't come out of the closet. #BOOM

I remember before my school practice and moving into the campus this academic year I lived independently in the apartment. It was given to me by Uncle Alik, and I lived there only for a little more than two weeks, so I didn't pay for almost anything, I only bought food and things I needed for living myself. It was a little (not tiny, tho) apartment in a pretty nice district of Vladivostok, both quite close to the urban center and to my bf's place, so it was easy and fast for him to get to me. It was a wonderful time full of fun, sun and relax. Even though for a couple of days there was no water due to some repair work. Nevertheless, now I dream, if I get into the Master's here in Vladivostok, I would love to rent this little apartment, even with payment. It was perfect for me, although its design is quite old-fashioned. Very.

To be honest, these memories are pretty recent. They only happened as far as in September. It's like I'm filling you in with the info that I missed writing here (except for impromptu apologizing for leaving my blog lonely). Perhaps, that's for good because if I try to remember something earlier, high chances I wrote about it. I know the task wanted me to write more or to imagine something as if it were my memory. But it's fucking 1:30 am. I'd rather go to sleep.
But I need you to know that I'm SO GLAD to be back.

As I do it - be brave!

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Party Around The World

NB! I've been writing this post for about half a year. But it has survived through all my laziness and low tides of inspiration and creativity. I hope y'all will find it witty and entertaining. Don't treat it too serious, I'm only about to get more professional about the drinks from this point xoxo

In this post, I wanna discuss one of my favorite things - PARTIES! You know, I'm a party pro and I wonder how I haven't come up with this genius idea yet.
But it's not gonna be just how I like to party, but about my party experience around the world (thanks to the US trips, I can call it 'around'). Of course, I can tell you only how native Russians party, and that's gonna be the fullest part. What about other countries that I'll touch (the USA, of course, Japan, China, and just some sentences about what else I know), so I'll tell you my personal experience only as a tourist/traveller and, what is also important, an underage tourist/traveller (sound illigal).

So let's start with my Motherland Russia. What I'll write is a pretty common thing, so you can believe me. Russians are good at partying at home. The most problematic thing is neighbors, and you may understand, neighbors are the problem everywhere. Adults like to gather if there's a serious celebration such as a birthday party, a wedding or an anniversary and so on. Teenagers put up a home party if parents go out somewhere for a weekend. Until you're in mid-twenties you drink just to get drunk, you see. Russians don't usually organize any themed parties. We like to dress nicely, but we don't put on anything funny as long as it's not Halloween and you're not going to the bar. Bars are a different story.

Almost all the bars and nightclubs are guided by the Western culture, so themed parties there are the thing. Halloween, New Year, International Women's Day, the Day of Russia - venues organize various events and promotions to get attention and attract folks. Once I went to a bar on the International Women's Day and received a free cocktail - it was plain champagne with grenadine, but man, it was free of charge! Plus, one of the positive things about the bars in Russia is that many of them are open till 4 am or so (at the weekend - for sure); moreover, there are bars that work 24/7. Isn't it a partying heaven?
Usually, you can't get into a bar if you're underage, but one always knows some places. Of course, if you're unlucky to look like 14 when you're 22, you might be asked your passport. But if you're a 17 years old guy who's taller than the President and has some awesome facial hair, you'll be welcomed. By the way, the Russian full age is 18. But as I said, the Western culture has influenced, and some venues, especially high-class ones, don't allow people under 21. It works with buying alcohol as well: you may buy beer and wine legally when you're 18, but spirits like rum, whiskey and tequila are forbidden unless you're 21 and over. Well, technically. Because I easily buy them in the shops and order in the bars. Usually, I'm not asked for my passport, but only the cashier told me to show my document when I was buying vodka. So I showed him, and everything was alright though vodka is like 40%, ok? Yeah yeah, make those Russia-vodka-bears jokes.

Also, Russians like to hang out in the country. You form a gang with a poor driver who can't drink while others party hard. Then you go to a lake, or a river, or a beach. The picnic can last for one day only or for the whole weekend or even longer.

So, Russia. Favorite party beverage: vodka, obvi. I mean, there are people who don't drink vodka, so they may drink wine, cognac, whiskey - everything the world can offer, even non-alcoholic stuff. Can you believe it? There are Russian people who don't drink alcohol! But it ain't no proper Russian party if there ain't no vodka.

You see, putting up a house party, young people don't usually
care about the fancy of the glasses and other dishes
The United States of America. As you know, I've been in the States twice, so I have something to tell you though I'm not 21 yet. And that's pretty strict in the USA. If you're not 21, you can't go to the clubs or bars, can't buy alco-beverage legally. But still, I gained some experience.

In 2013, my friends and I faced such a thing as a hotel party. Every weekend a very lively party was put up near the swimming pool in the hotel where we lived after Las Vegas trip. Parties started pretty early, at like 4 pm or something, because I remember we wanted to shoot some videos near the swimming pool for our task but couldn't get there because we were underage. Like they would've let us in only if we were adults! Probably, the parties were organized by the hotel. Once we returned from an excursion and on entering the hotel we couldn't breathe properly, our eyes got irritated, so we quickly went up to our rooms. As far as I understood, someone had pulverized some pepper spray - for fun?? Not sure, because another day my friend Christina and I went down to the vending machines for some snacks, and some partying men tried to pick us up inviting us to join them at the party. So maybe it was a woman defending herself who had dispersed the spray that day?
Still, we had a chance to have a pool party at the end of our American vacation. It was our last full day before the departure day, and it was Christina's birthday as well. All guys wanted to swim a bit after lunch, but we saw another party was being prepared, and we thought we wouldn't be allowed to the swimming pool. But just the reverse they let us swim and, moreover, the DJ had been already there, so he turned on some cool music shouting "RUSSIANS IN DA HOUSE!!", and the organizers threw us some huge air toys (I don't know their proper names). We had our best time indeed!

Try to spot me
But in 2015 I experienced American party in another way though it had one thing in common - the place. I lived in the hostel, so my parties were of a hotel kind, too. But this time, I was one of the participants although I was underage still. It seems like I'm never gonna be old enough for America. So, parties! Ho(s)tel parties are aimed to meet new people and have fun. If you aren't excited to talk to people, you'll be bored af. And if you make friends with the hostel workers, you'll find out they probably have their own mini-bars, so there's even BOOZE!

American favorite party beverage: beer. Of course, there are wine and whiskey, and vodka, too, but the beer is the thing. I tasted some Mexican beer, but it was total crap for me. Also, I drank some (read: a lot of) wine, both red and white, and it worked well. Very well.

An example of the room in the hostel where we could chill out
when the official party stopped
A disadvantage for people partying in the USA is that all night clubs and bars are open till 2 am only. I remember a Brazilian guy who wanted to go out somewhere, but it was already 1:30 am, and my friend said, "Sorry, mate, but I'm afraid everything will be closed soon". And the Brazilian burst out complaining like "WHAT?? In Brazil, all bars work until 5 am! At 2 am everybody's partying hard and no one wants to stop!" I agreed with him.
Also, we had to stop loud hostel parties by the midnight, because the neighbors could complain and call the police; so we hid in the rooms with low music and slowed down activity.

Once I chanced to get into a bar near my hostel. Guys took me there to dance though we all wondered if I'd be asked for my ID. Fortunately, we walked in freely and danced till guys decided to change the place. The bar was really tiny; I didn't notice much difference from the Russian bars I'd been to.

The United States of AMURICA!! Fav beverage: I'd say beer but anything you can afford will do. But can you imagine a proper American party without a beer pong?

The main people partying in Japan are men. It may sound anti-feministic but that's how it is as far as I know. I'm sure, young people party at the same level, both guys and girls. But talking about older ones, I know that men are most likely to hang out in big companies without their women in the evening. Even when I went to Japan in 2013 to work, firstly, we didn't have any woman in our Japanese crew, and when we had something like farewell parties, there were no women either. But I think, it's not a question about partying habits, is it? But I'm not about to make monsters out of the Japanese; they are such a nice polite nation!

The Japanese are no strangers to family parties. They like to go out with the whole family, have outside activities together and eat out somewhere. They don't need special occasions for that , and I think it's nice and cute.

What about me, so there was no problem for me (16 then) and my mate to buy some alcoholic bevarage in Japan as I wasn't asked my age 'cause I was a Westener, I guess. So, if you go to Wakkanai one day, I know where to buy a very decent mojito.

Let's sum up what I have for Japan. I'd say that the Japanese stick to their traditional sake, but I must admit their love their local beer as well.

When I think of China and alcohol, my first thought is Chinese beer!! Back in 2012 when my choir and I went to this country, the first bevarage we were served for dinner was beer. Only after some of us would ask for water or juice. And - oh man! - we drank so much Chinese beer! It even led me to a heavily sore throat and my first boyfriend; none of those was a good experience. So my experience of Chinese parties are all from that trip. Firstly, we experienced the Chinese hospitality during dinners with limitless beer (we even stole some bottles to our hotel). Then we put up kinda 'house parties' in our rooms in the hotel with that beer and anything we could buy at the hotel from the pineapple beer to already mixed whiskey and cola. Moreover, some of the choir participants including me, of course, once went to a local night club catering for the Russians. It was much fun, very drunk though. Sometimes I recollect some fragments from that night and am like "Why the hell did I do that?" - I mean, danced to the very odd tunes. Once again, there wasn't any troubles buying alcohol in China, and it was great.

I don't think I can be any positive about what people of China prefer, so let's stop at beer as their favorite drink. It seems like beer rule the world!

So guys, that's what I have in my mind for one of my favorite subject - PARTIES! Maybe I could have written even more if the information weren't drunk away.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016


This is for them 20-somethings
Time really moves fast, you were just sixteen
"Schoolin' Life", Beyoncé

As soon as I've just turned 20 (TWENTY! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?), I'm ready to publish some lists I've been making for some time. I must admit it hasn't been easy to recollect 20 mistakes I've made or 20 books that have impressed me enough so I would recommend them. Of course, these lists can easily be edited, but that's what I've got by the age of 20 so far. Hope you'll have fun reading them!

20 mistakes I've made:
1. Didn't go out with that one boy at school
2. Had too many expectations for my graduating party
3. Didn't book a hostel in Tokyo beforehand
4. Didn't read enough this summer
5. Wasted a day in LA on walking with the most boring guy in 2015
6. Scored 83 points for the Russian final test at school
7. My first boyfriend
8. Half of my would-be boyfriends
9. Ate that cheesecake in Khabarovsk in 2014
10. Do everything in the last minute
11. Didn't talk enough with all the kinds from my teams in the camp
12. Didn't put on my sunscreen on the Tobizina cape
13. Didn't put on my sunscreen in Santa Monica in 2013
14. Didn't take any photos with the people I hung out with in LA in 2015
15. Ruined my biological clock
16. Didn't ask about the 3OH!3 album Omens in Amoeba
17. Don't say right answers louder during the classes when needed
18. Drank too much at my unofficial matriculation at university
19. Wasted some money a couple of times when I could've saved them, ok
20. Didn't get along with my elder sister during our childhood

20 lessons I've learned:
1. Always think about where to stay during not only trips themselves but also stepovers in advance
2. Let things go
3. Take your time, don't forget to relax, always arrange some me-time
4. You aren't to like all the people around. It's ok to have someone you don't approve
5. Have some money in the bank as some kind of a back-up
6. Upload the photos you take to Google Photo or iCloud or anything like that. You never know when your device can get broken or lost
7. Being nice is a rule, but being petty and bitchy isn't always a bad idea
8. "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you're gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen here?" RuPaul
9. Love your parents and make sure you call them often enough. They deserve it, they love you
10. Trust your friends but rely on yourself first
11. Lovers come and go, friends stay. Cherish them
12. Better be alone with someone you don't care of
13. Don't care what they think. Put on as much make-up as you want while you're young and beautiful
14. Don't care what they think. You can be young and beautiful till the end of time
15. Don't know what color you should choose? Choose black
16. Be helpful - and for yourself first
17. Take risks - they tend to pay off!
18. Take in some vitamins, take care of your health
19. Read more
20. Enjoy the moment, don't miss living

20 songs I adore:
1. Jason Mraz "I'm Yours"
2. The Neighbourhood "Ferrari"
3. Beyoncé "Diva"
4. Marina And The Diamonds "How To Be A Heartbreaker"
5. Beyoncé "Partition"
6. Ariana Grande "One Last Time"
7. Lana Del Rey "Backfire"
8. 3OH!3 "Love 2012"
9. Halsey "Colors"
10. The Common Linnets "Calm After The Storm"
11. Lady Gaga feat. Beyoncé "Telephone"
12. Gem Club "Twins"
13. The Beetles "Strawberry Fields Forever"
14. Anna Margaret "Something About Sunshine"
15. Lady Gaga "Born This Way"
16. Postdata "Tobias Grey"
17. Joss Stone "L.O.V.E."
18. Arctic Monkeys "505"
19. Ryan Adams "Firecracker"
20. Natalia Kills "Problem"

20 books I recommend:
1. George Orwell "1984"
2. Leo Tolstoy "Anna Karenina"
3. Yevgeny Zamyatin "We"
4. Jane Austin "Pride and Prejudice"
5. Dante Alighieri "Divine Comedy"
6. David Nicholls "One Day"
7. Joanne Harris "Chocolat"
8. Joanne Harris "The Lollipop Shoes"
9. Dan Brown "Angels and Demons"
10. Goethe "Faust"
11. Francesco Petrarca's sonnets
12. Alexander Blok's poems
13. Daniel Keyes "Flowers for Algernon"
14. J. K. Rowling "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"
15. Mikhail Lermontov's poems
16. Ivan Bunin's short novels
17. Robert Rozhdestvensky's poems
18. Joseph Brodsky's poems
19. Charlotte Brontë "Jane Eyre"
20. Patrick Süskind "Perfume: The Story of a Murderer"

And I certainly couldn't leave you withough the Queen B in my B'Day! Here's something relating to the title and all the jazz ♥

Be brave as usual! 

Thursday, September 22, 2016

I Got You Covered

I'm back to school life, to campus life. I'm back to writing, and it feels so right. I've told my Vocabulary & Speaking teacher that maintaining a blog is one of my main hobbies and it made me feel like returning to my old schedule when I wrote several times a week and it was satisfying af.
Today I've visited the first organizing meeting at the driving school. I'M GONNA LEARN HOW TO DRIVE A CAR!! Can you believe that?! The funniest thing for me was that I came in all pink, I had a pink pen and a pink notebook with my image on its cover. DUH. I felt so Legally Blonde. I never did that on purpose. But if you remember Mean Girls well enough, you may notice that "on Wednesdays, we wear pink".

I looked pretty glamorous, right?
Last Sunday my student organization and I went to the cape of Tobizin just to spend some nice time together. We were lucky to have very sunny weather that day, so now I sorta suffer from my skin peeling off of my face. But I really enjoyed our little trip. We should take advantage of the last warm days as long as we can.

My co-teacher Thomas and I took the most hipster Polaroid photo at the cape
Talking about my student organization, so I keep on being the money-keeper of our gang but some exciting news has come just an hour ago. Our commander Tea has suggested Thomas and my person going to the All-Russian Student Organizations' Meeting in November. Wow. It's an important event, and if I happen to go there, it will be such an experience! There'll be around 2000 people gathered together by one idea, one spirit to share experience, new projects, ideas, material. Awesome, isn't it? 
I like this semester more than the last, spring one. Though we still have some troubles with the schedule, I'm pretty satisfied with the classes. Good for me, then! Moreover, I've chosen Brave New World by Aldous Huxley as my individual reading. Finally I, a dystopian stories lover, will read the classics!
The song of the day is gonna be the latest hit from Mac Miller feat. Ariana Grande called "My Favorite Part" (though I've been listening to The Neighbourhood for the whole evening). I like the track because it's so easy-listening, laid-back and relaxing. It just calms you down and says that everything's ok.

Be brave, 'cause that's my favorite part

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Hold Up

"... they don't love you like I love you"
Beyoncé, "Hold Up"

When was the last time I poured all my shit on you here? Much water has flowed under the bridge.
I worked for two terms in "English Camp" in summer and somehow stayed alive after that (though I thought I'd die). During the first term, sports one, I worked with the kids of around 12 yo. It was the same age as I had worked the year before, I even had a boy from that previous summer. I was shocked in the beginning but then calmed myself down thinking "Stability is a sign of mastery". Plus, my co-worker Eva, I was her instructor during the teachers' training. And the term was great! One of our guys was the President of English Camp that term, and generally our kids were awesome. Though I got my new speaker stolen at the end of the term, so I was frustrated. Still, I consider that term as one of the best.

I like putting these two photos together. Me in a white hoodie in the center,
and my beautiful co-worker Eva next to me in the leather jacket
My second term was as amazing as the first one but it was more difficult in the beginning. I completely lost my voice at the end of Sports term and that second term was a music one. I entered Music Term with no voice!! But my co-worker that time was brilliant Thomas, whose instructor I was as well. If there was an award for the best teamwork, we would have definitely won it. We were given the 1st team, which means we had the oldest kids. Half of the kids had visited English Camp for many times, and for some of them this summer would be the last, so our top brass put us under big pressure that we should make this summer the most unbelievable and unforgettable for them. I felt so under this pressure first days. I even cried after daily briefings. But then the things were fine. Our coordinator and chief teacher reassured me that it wasn't even about all Thomas' and my work, our kids weren't that up-and-doing. That music term with the oldest guys showed me that I really improved my skills as a teacher, and sometimes I should just let things go and rest my head a bit. Btw, do you know how our team was called that music term? "Formation"! YAS I named our team after Beyoncé's song and my co-worker agreed on that. 'Cause yeah we got our kids in formation, okay?!

Unfortunately, Thomas didn't make it into this cool photo
(you can spot his arm on the left)
But here we go :3

I met a guy in the end of spring, we got through the summer (we both worked in different summer camps separately) and we almost made it come together again but he literally stood me up. We had arranged it that he meet me at the airport of Vladivostok but when I arrived there was no one to help me physically or morally. And that nasty bastard didn't pick up his phone once during that day! And in the evening he texted me something like "Hi, how did you arrive?" I mean what?? That person frankly told me he liked me, everything was nice in spring, he promised to meet me at the fucking airport and then never showed up?! Guys, don't be like that. Please.
Well, I finished my second year at university in an excellent way as I can. During the French exam, our French teacher was Kanye and I was Tay Swift, 'cause she didn't let me finish any of my tasks. Not that it was bad, she was like "I know that you know, so go" but girl, I prepared my shit, you'd better listen. But I quickly swallowed my pride not to run into some mistakes. My final course paper turned out to be pretty good. This year I'll continue working with my favorite professor, so I'll keep on writing about the nature pictured in the books by Ann Radcliffe. Honestly, that lady wrote some boring mess but the landscapes are described so gracefully, I can't even. But all the storylines are junk. But the landscapes are great. Period. Yeah, I know Ann R. is one of the pioneers of gothic novels, she's its 'queen' as they call her but nowadays it's not that interesting for me. But I'll work with that and won't give up. I'm a freaking philologist, I should know how to work with various stuff.
Also, last year my dear roommate Cherry Lady and I fell for RuPaul's Drag Race. We've watched seasons 4 and 6 and now watching season 7 by far. Probably, you've noticed its influence in my writing style. Imagine if you heard my speech! My friend and I adore (Delano) this show! So iconic. We definitely observe their vibes, some style hacks, face expressions and figures of speech.
I spent whole August and the very beginning of September in my hometown. I was glad to see my parents and Sakhalin friends again but due to them being always at work, my being on Sakhalin wasn't that rad. I decided that I wouldn't stay in Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk for longer than 2-3 weeks anymore. But all the time spent with my family and friends was precious. I even made some new friends (one new friend, actually). And Dasha said she'd come to me to Vladivostok in some weeks for a couple of days. What can be more exciting? I'll finally show her my favorite party places! Moreover, my parents will come in the beginning of October to celebrate my 20 yo jubilee. To be honest, Dasha's trip and my parents' arrival will superimpose on one another, so it confuses me a bit. But we shall make it, shan't we? So my autumn seems to be all about fun and fuss. (Yes, I seem to prefer AmE, but I still refuse to use 'fall' meaning 'autumn')
Talking about music, so I'm really into Beyoncé's Lemonade (except for "Daddy Lessons", can't feel it out). I've probably taken my love to Beyoncé to the maximum this summer. The next step is to visit her concert, obvi. Or just buy some merch. But her concert is def better. So if you want to please me, put a Beyoncé song on. Or show me a cat. Or give me some chocolate. Or all together and garnish it with some chamomile tea.
So turn on something that makes you feel comfortable and self-confident and as usual...

Be brave ♥

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Things I Believe In the age of 19.
Hello, tout le monde! I know I've been absent for more than 2 months and the only thing I told you about was a crazy wedding I was this close to absolutely slay but flopped in the end.
Nevertheless, thoughts in my mind keep on flowing and I can't keep them bottled in. I still experience with the format of my blog and I liked the post I did about Q&A where the information was given in little items. I like this form myself, so give me a try this time too. I had some draughts and I made up my mind to unite them all under the theme I have stated in the title. (Oh my, I'm writing this like it's an official report. What an atta-girl)
So, commençons! Here are some things I believe in.

I believe in the chance.
Many things happened to me were incidents. They happened by chance or Fortuna helped, I don't know. On the other hand, I'm also aware of the fact that there are no accidents, all the incidents aren't incidental. But all these things are so mixed! I like the word 'fate'. Because in some cases I can see the system, the line, the process how I came from one situation to another. In other cases, something just happens and *boom!* I'm da boss.
For example, my second American trip (yes, I know, you're all fed up with it). It's clear how I got there - I still had a visa from my first American travel. But how did my parents agree to send me to the USA in 2013? Mystery. Luck. Fate. And in this 2015 adventure, how did I meet particular people? You see, I could communicate to them during my 9 Californian days, then say goodbye, shed a tear and that's all. But no! It's been about half a year since then and I still keep in touch (more or less) with some people I met there. How did I run exactly into those people? How on earth did one man decide to offer me a drink, and now he suggests me the greatest films and tunes? How? Mystery. Luck. Fate.
And only by this holy chance my bestie Cherry Lady and I sent our docs to the same university. We'd never talked about entering the same university, and one day we discussed our higher education's plans and went, "I'm sending my docs to FEFU" - "Hey, me too!" And here we are sharing one room and one specialisation!
Even back in the 5th grade of school, when my that time best friend kinda betrayed me and ditched me. I was walking to my music school all depressed when I accidently ran into Dasha who comforted me and said she was still my friend, and so we grew into best friends.
These are just a few stories from my life but I must convince you that accident things happen to me on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel like I live in the ancient Greek roman where a chance was da boss.

I believe in my country.
I'm a cosmopolitan, but it doesn't disclaim my warm attitude to my country. The more I travel, the more advantages I see in Russia, the better I understand my Motherland.
I'm not the person to talk about politics or economics but I can't deny the controversial situation in our world these days. But it's all about history. History always repeats. Russia has always had breakdowns but don't you know yourself it's always risen like a phoenix? I'm not a Slavophil but I totally agree that Russia has its own way of progressing.
After my long winter vacation on Sakhalin when I arrived back in Vladivostok, I took a train from the airport downtown. I was watching the outskirts and was thinking about how amazing my country is. Russia is different. Of course, the most picturesque views are in summer, but there is some special charm in winter. There's always something to see every season. One British friend of mine says that if he ever visits Russia, he'll come in summer. But seeing those little cottages covered with snow, I catch myself thinking I'd like him to see it, I want him to experience Russia in winter. Even though we both hate cold.
I admire other countries; you know I left my heart in LA, can't but dream about visiting France and Italy and etc. But when I'm abroad I feel Russian more than I do while practically in Russia. I don't think I'll live in Russia forever. I can see myself with a foreign husband and bilingual children (I've always seen). My idee fixe is to spend my old age somewhere near Marseille in the Côte d'Azur.
But deep down I've always felt proud of myself (and my fellow-countrymen) for one thing - people of other nations may only guess how it is to be Russian, how it's to live in Russia, and I know how it is.

I believe in love.
Not so long ago I showed one man my poetry and he asked if I had something, not about love. I wanted to protest in the beginning but then decided to keep silence wisely especially since I had a couple of poems not about love.
I don't remember at what age I realized that everything in this world was about love (earlier than I decided that I was a cosmopolitan). You love your parents, you love your sweetheart, you love your pet, you love your food... I'm not talking about the extremes when people are willing to marry a chair or something.
One song says, "What is this thing called love that you speak?" It's a good question indeed. Love is a feeling, that's for sure. Love is affection, love is an attachment. Love is trust.
My kids in the summer camp always giggled when I started talking about love and warm feelings we should have shown to each other. Then I explained to them that love was not only between lovers or spouses but between friends, and parents and their children, between me as their teacher and them as my wards. They understood.
For example, I'm bad at talking to people to whom I don't feel anything, in whom I'm not interested. But when I think the person I'm with is right, I can speak for hours, though the words may be nonsense. Because for my mind, talking, chatting is a way to show my feelings, to show that I'm comfortable with someone. Not all the information we share is important. It shouldn't be always important. If I tell you some silly things that have no value but I really want you to know, it means I value you and you're important to me and I trust you. I don't always pour out all the thoughts which are on my mind. But when I do, it means I think you're someone I can trust. And I already love you as a good human being.
So, I can discourse on the issue of love for hours, but one thing is clear:
Love can save this world, that's for sure.

I believe in art.
Because life imitates art, and art imitates life. You may suppose that I have such an opinion only because I study the humanities but it's kinda vice versa. I study the humanities because I know and appreciate the power of art.
The concept, the meaning of art is so fragile nowadays. I can pour the paint on my (or someone's) naked body, tie up some sentimental 'message' and easily call it 'The Art'. I can repeat "I love you" 83 times to a silly tune and call it "The Art". I can take a picture of a mug, add a couple of filters, again say that it carries a huge 'message' and call it "The Art". At the same time, a person may work for months on a painting and no one could appreciate it. Someone can have an amazing voice but cannot use it right because of lack of money, connections and etc. I don't mean that everything must be bought nowadays. I mean that the most of the things they sell or show are of low quality, that stuff is nonsense. Of course, there's is the true art nowadays as well. The world isn't totally doomed. That's why I believe in art and that it will arise and inspire.
My literature professor has told us that our days are like the Middle Ages. Those times, the most people didn't read (because they couldn't) so they listened to the ones who owned the knowledge. The knowledge was elitist. Nowadays people don't read too. Well, we do but not the same amount as people did a century or two ago. Many things have influenced why people gave up reading and self-teaching and enlarging their knowledge. And it's strange because today we have so many sources to educate ourselves: the same old books, e-books, the holy Internet, TV, masterclasses and video-lessons. I'm not talking about particular fields of knowledge like languages or science. I'm talking about general erudition! The art, the science, the phycology, the philosophy... There are so many things to discover day by day but not every person does it. And so the world is ruled by those who do discover the depth of human knowledge. The knowledge is elitist again.
Nowadays art isn't much about educating its observers. But it should be, it might have been. They always try to entertain us but they'd rather educate us. The world is overwhelmed with entertainment but it lacks art.

Be brave

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