Things I Believe In

...at the age of 19.
Hello, tout le monde! I know I've been absent for more than 2 months and the only thing I told you about was a crazy wedding I was this close to absolutely slay but flopped in the end.
Nevertheless, thoughts in my mind keep on flowing and I can't keep them bottled in. I still experience with the format of my blog and I liked the post I did about Q&A where the information was given in little items. I like this form myself, so give me a try this time too. I had some draughts and I made up my mind to unite them all under the theme I have stated in the title. (Oh my, I'm writing this like it's an official report. What an atta-girl)
So, commençons! Here are some things I believe in.

I believe in the chance.
Many things happened to me were incidents. They happened by chance or Fortuna helped, I don't know. On the other hand, I'm also aware of the fact that there are no accidents, all the incidents aren't incidental. But all these things are so mixed! I like the word 'fate'. Because in some cases I can see the system, the line, the process how I came from one situation to another. In other cases, something just happens and *boom!* I'm da boss.
For example, my second American trip (yes, I know, you're all fed up with it). It's clear how I got there - I still had a visa from my first American travel. But how did my parents agree to send me to the USA in 2013? Mystery. Luck. Fate. And in this 2015 adventure, how did I meet particular people? You see, I could communicate to them during my 9 Californian days, then say goodbye, shed a tear and that's all. But no! It's been about half a year since then and I still keep in touch (more or less) with some people I met there. How did I run exactly into those people? How on earth did one man decide to offer me a drink, and now he suggests me the greatest films and tunes? How? Mystery. Luck. Fate.
And only by this holy chance my bestie Cherry Lady and I sent our docs to the same university. We'd never talked about entering the same university, and one day we discussed our higher education's plans and went, "I'm sending my docs to FEFU" - "Hey, me too!" And here we are sharing one room and one specialisation!
Even back in the 5th grade of school, when my that time best friend kinda betrayed me and ditched me. I was walking to my music school all depressed when I accidently ran into Dasha who comforted me and said she was still my friend, and so we grew into best friends.
These are just a few stories from my life but I must convince you that accident things happen to me on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel like I live in the ancient Greek roman where a chance was da boss.

I believe in my country.
I'm a cosmopolitan, but it doesn't disclaim my warm attitude to my country. The more I travel, the more advantages I see in Russia, the better I understand my Motherland.
I'm not the person to talk about politics or economics but I can't deny the controversial situation in our world these days. But it's all about history. History always repeats. Russia has always had breakdowns but don't you know yourself it's always risen like a phoenix? I'm not a Slavophil but I totally agree that Russia has its own way of progressing.
After my long winter vacation on Sakhalin when I arrived back in Vladivostok, I took a train from the airport downtown. I was watching the outskirts and was thinking about how amazing my country is. Russia is different. Of course, the most picturesque views are in summer, but there is some special charm in winter. There's always something to see every season. One British friend of mine says that if he ever visits Russia, he'll come in summer. But seeing those little cottages covered with snow, I catch myself thinking I'd like him to see it, I want him to experience Russia in winter. Even though we both hate cold.
I admire other countries; you know I left my heart in LA, can't but dream about visiting France and Italy and etc. But when I'm abroad I feel Russian more than I do while practically in Russia. I don't think I'll live in Russia forever. I can see myself with a foreign husband and bilingual children (I've always seen). My idee fixe is to spend my old age somewhere near Marseille in the Côte d'Azur.
But deep down I've always felt proud of myself (and my fellow-countrymen) for one thing - people of other nations may only guess how it is to be Russian, how it's to live in Russia, and I know how it is.

I believe in love.
Not so long ago I showed one man my poetry and he asked if I had something, not about love. I wanted to protest in the beginning but then decided to keep silence wisely especially since I had a couple of poems not about love.
I don't remember at what age I realized that everything in this world was about love (earlier than I decided that I was a cosmopolitan). You love your parents, you love your sweetheart, you love your pet, you love your food... I'm not talking about the extremes when people are willing to marry a chair or something.
One song says, "What is this thing called love that you speak?" It's a good question indeed. Love is a feeling, that's for sure. Love is affection, love is an attachment. Love is trust.
My kids in the summer camp always giggled when I started talking about love and warm feelings we should have shown to each other. Then I explained to them that love was not only between lovers or spouses but between friends, and parents and their children, between me as their teacher and them as my wards. They understood.
For example, I'm bad at talking to people to whom I don't feel anything, in whom I'm not interested. But when I think the person I'm with is right, I can speak for hours, though the words may be nonsense. Because for my mind, talking, chatting is a way to show my feelings, to show that I'm comfortable with someone. Not all the information we share is important. It shouldn't be always important. If I tell you some silly things that have no value but I really want you to know, it means I value you and you're important to me and I trust you. I don't always pour out all the thoughts which are on my mind. But when I do, it means I think you're someone I can trust. And I already love you as a good human being.
So, I can discourse on the issue of love for hours, but one thing is clear:
Love can save this world, that's for sure.

I believe in art.
Because life imitates art, and art imitates life. You may suppose that I have such an opinion only because I study the humanities but it's kinda vice versa. I study the humanities because I know and appreciate the power of art.
The concept, the meaning of art is so fragile nowadays. I can pour the paint on my (or someone's) naked body, tie up some sentimental 'message' and easily call it 'The Art'. I can repeat "I love you" 83 times to a silly tune and call it "The Art". I can take a picture of a mug, add a couple of filters, again say that it carries a huge 'message' and call it "The Art". At the same time, a person may work for months on a painting and no one could appreciate it. Someone can have an amazing voice but cannot use it right because of lack of money, connections and etc. I don't mean that everything must be bought nowadays. I mean that the most of the things they sell or show are of low quality, that stuff is nonsense. Of course, there's is the true art nowadays as well. The world isn't totally doomed. That's why I believe in art and that it will arise and inspire.
My literature professor has told us that our days are like the Middle Ages. Those times, the most people didn't read (because they couldn't) so they listened to the ones who owned the knowledge. The knowledge was elitist. Nowadays people don't read too. Well, we do but not the same amount as people did a century or two ago. Many things have influenced why people gave up reading and self-teaching and enlarging their knowledge. And it's strange because today we have so many sources to educate ourselves: the same old books, e-books, the holy Internet, TV, masterclasses and video-lessons. I'm not talking about particular fields of knowledge like languages or science. I'm talking about general erudition! The art, the science, the phycology, the philosophy... There are so many things to discover day by day but not every person does it. And so the world is ruled by those who do discover the depth of human knowledge. The knowledge is elitist again.
Nowadays art isn't much about educating its observers. But it should be, it might have been. They always try to entertain us but they'd rather educate us. The world is overwhelmed with entertainment but it lacks art.

Be brave

30 Questions To Ask Yourself

The year of 2015 is coming to its end, and I'd like to sum it up a bit. I still have some plans I feel like I must execute, but they won't change the main, you know, volume of emotions. I had such an amazing year, didn't I? It changed me pretty much, helped me to understand what I want from life.
Not so long ago I found a post on our Russian version of Facebook that included some interesting questions people may ask themselves about their lives (originally the questions are from the book "My 5 years. 365 questions, 1825 answers. Diary"). They say to answer privately and show nobody, but I think it's a funny way to share my thoughts about the year with you. Maybe there're gonna be the questions I won't want to answer, so I'll politely skip them. Let's start!

1. The best moment of the year is...
My American trip, beyond doubt. I know, I worked in the children camp for the first time, I finished my 1st year at university this year and started the 2nd, but nevertheless my travel to LA was the most amazing and unforgettable for many reasons.

2. What inspired me the most this year?
Oh, difficulties have started. I can't help mentioning my mind-blowing travel again. People around me inspire me all the time. Participating in the contests with my student organization. Reading good literature, for sure; literature never lets me down.

3. The main news of the year.
I started working seriously. I became the English tutor in February and a teacher in the camp in June. Also now I can speak French!

4. The anthem of the year.
Man, you know, questions about music are HARD! Probably I could have pointed out one song the previous years, but not this one. I can't recall one song. Let it be Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood, the Eurovision 2015 winning song Heroes by Måns Zelmerlöw, Style by Taylor Swift and Colors by Halsey.

5. The most important people in my life. (this year, apparently)
Well, I can't but mention my parents and best friends who are my most important people in my life forever. Also I'd like to point out the Australian man I met in LA. Nowadays, when several months have passed by, I understand that I won't exaggerate when saying that he kinda influenced my perception of the world and myself mainly. It's one in a million chance to get to know such a person, believe me.

6. What was the most difficult for me?
Umm, making up your mind is always difficult. Sometimes working with the children at camp was difficult; I even cried twice during the term. Urging myself to read all the necessary literature even if I totally don't feel like is always a challenge too.

7. What color was this year?
Oy, I could send you to Colors by Halsey here, too:) But having to choose the color of the year, I'd say red. Red is my second favorite color, and my 2015 has been so vibrant and energetic and full of unexpected things, so it was red. ("... but loving him was red")

8. What event of this year I'd like to remember forever?
Is it going to be another post about my LA trip or what?

9. What word I used most often?
Hmm, interesting. I'd probably be able to answer this question in Russian. In English I'd choose the word expression "on point", let it be so.

10. The most ridiculous purchase of the year.
I hope I learnt not to waste money this year as being a student. So I think I never bought anything ridiculous in 2015. Or I try not to remember.

11. I'd better experiment with...
Oh my, I think I've experimented enough this year. Perhaps, there's even nothing I'd regret. YOU GO, GIRL!

12. This year was great because...
I realized many plans and ideas, I tried and did what I hadn't done before. I met so many amazing people; many of them have become my good friends. I traveled all on my own abroad for the first time.

13. What intimate problem have I solved?
I don't know. Usually I try to avoid noticing problems including my owns. I still try to understand my nature, so I'll leave this question open.

14. Whom I hugged at night?
That's almost offensive. I hug my plush cat toy at night, you know. Well, I wasn't that hopeless this year, but they are more one night stand cases :c

15. At whose wedding I partied?
At no one's.

16. What average salary did I have this year?
*politely skipping*

17. Did I have a conversation that changed everything in my mind?
I don't think I'm capable of recalling one particular conversation. I try to extract something useful from every conversation I have. Talking to foreigners was remarkable; and conversations with my camp co-workers were always great.

18. What new business have I started this year?
Well, I've already written about my work. Though I don't earn much money, but I enjoy teaching my little students English, it's my own little serious business.

19. If I could become a super hero for one day, what would I do?
It might sound selfish, but if I were a super hero for a day, I'd fly to my guys in LA. Seriously.

20. What do I dream about?
Is it about 2015 or what? I have many dreams actually. Right now I dream to successfully pass my exams beforehand this semester and come to my hometown for a whole month.

21. What I consider to be my biggest achievement?
My successful American trip. Sorry.

22. Express this year (up to this day) in one phrase.
Off the hook.

23. The last message that I sent.
You won't be much excited about that: the last thing I sent was the translated sentences I sent to my group mates. Sorry.

24. A quotation that suits this year.
"I don't believe you. I believe in you" © the Canadian guy I met in LA

25. Have I realized everything I planned for this year?
Not yet. Only some chore stuff are left. But globally yes, I've done everything I planned. Well done.

26. How many new friends have I made this year?
I'm bad at counting. I guess there are about 4-5 new good friends I made this year.

27. Whom I helped this year?
Myself firstly. My Australian man. Cherry Lady. Tatyana. I like helping people if I'm sure I can.

28. What places have I visited?
OOOOHHH should I count my hometown? Besides, there are West Hollywood, Venice Beach, Downtown LA and all the other places I went to in LA. Most of them were new for me. Oh, and Tokyo! I've been to Tokyo for the first time!

29. What business have I put off till the next year?
Recording the songs that I wrote because I don't have any instruments here in Vladivostok (yet). So I wait for coming to Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk and creating some (I think) cool stuff there.

30. What do I want to achieve in the new year?
Discovering new aspects of my soul. I want to live happily in general. Earlier I'd absolutely send a wish upon a star for a boyfriend. Now I get it that I don't constantly need a boy to feel happy. Of course, I don't deny the need of somebody by my side. But unless I'm fully satisfied with myself, I won't be satisfied with anyone. Plus now I know I don't need a boy - I need a man ("who can do it like I can"). I guess I met someone who looked like my ideal this year, and now it's pretty tough to find somebody like him. But actually I don't look for anyone on purpose. I believe if I feel confident, my destiny will find me easily. So feeling constantly confident, being patient and attentive is what I want to achieve in the new year.

That's it! Maybe, my answers were pretty obvious and silly, but they are mine, don't you think? Try to answer yourself and see how amazing your 2015 was!

Be brave

Things, They Change

And by morning,

Gone was any trace of you,

I think I am finally clean.

Taylor Swift, Clean

Yo, people, it's November! Welcome, November, please sit down, be a nice guy, because I do have plans for you.
If you know me well enough, so you're aware of my habit to have a 'seasonal depression' every November and April. It happens not because I want it so bad like "I'm so sick of being happy, let's act blue and all down for a month or two". Last year I found out why I lost my happiness and love to the world. So there are certain reasons of my depression:

1. Weather. I hadn't even had an idea how much the weather influenced on me. And it still actually does. And November and April are pretty foggy times. I always say that I adore foggy weather. But when you have it for 30 days in a row, it really presses you down. Now I understand that I'm fed up with fogs and I need more sunshine. I realize now that living in St. Petersburg wouldn't be such a good decision because our North capital is known with its foggy weather all year round. 
2. Music. I've always known that music plays a big role in my life. I listen to it every day. If I'm not wearing earphones, be sure that I'm likely to be singing something in my head. And so when the weather is all gray, I don't try to fight it with some positive and energetic tunes but I support it with melancholy and a bit depressing songs. 
3. "Lonely Hearts Club". I'm a famous Single Lady and, you know, it's not all about the fun, to be honest. Of course, when I chance to listen to my friends' stories about their twisted relationships, I'm glad I don't have to deal with fuck boys. Sometimes I think  Good God just protects me from all that shit and there's someone who'll magically appear when I'm ready for 'one true love'. But you know, there are times you want to have a walk with someone who's more than a friend, send a lovely text to your crush and receive something nice back, embrace a body and a soul you're attached to. "So go on a date!" you might say. I'm bad at it. I don't know how to do it. Literally. I know that I'm pretty, I don't fall into being a complete bitch, but I try not to underestimate myself either. But guys don't run to me asking for my number or going out. And I don't feel confident to come up to a boy and ask him if he's free on a Friday night because once bitten, twice shy, but that's another story. 
4. Overthinking. Damn it, you overthink too much too many things too, right? Just sum up everything that's written above, multiply it several times, repeat for days, and here you go! Overthinking sucks, but I can't help it. Why doesn't he reply me? What if I do everything wrong? Will I pass the exams? What should I do with my life once I graduate?

And if you're smart enough, you may understand yourself how to avoid that unwanted depression. Unfortunately, I can't control the weather and, as I mentioned, I'm bad with building relationships, but there are some things I do nowadays and I hold on cheerful vibe as long as possible.

• Positive music. Don't let your own mind bring you down! Turn on the album Born This Way by Lady Gaga instead of the record Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey. BTW, the track Born This Way is one of two songs that are 100% sure to cheer me up. So listen to some good and happy tunes, and you won't notice how you start nodding along. It mustn't be something super-exciting and excited like Shake It Off by Taylor Swift, but something confident and empowering for sure. Consider checking out Zedd's record True Colors if you like club music or Snoop Dogg's latest work Bush if you're into rap.
• Get busy. DO SOMETHING! Stop staring at the ceiling thinking how great your crush is and how miserable you are and, I don't know, read anything. You'd better get overwhelmed with crazy troubles that fictional characters have than fictional troubles that crazy you don't have. I don't say that we should give up analyzing our lives, it's really useful actually. But btw reading good stuff, especially classics, will help you to solve some life issues and get over them. 
• Experience new things. Try a parachute jump, explore a new place in your town or go to a bar. It may be not so new, but it always works for me #alcoholicoops. New experiences will distract your mind from thinking about how dull your life is, at least for a short time. And there are big chances to meet someone new there!

Yeah, I realize that there are hundred people, who have written all those things before me, and hundred people, who'll write the same after me, but everyone always adds something original, and maybe I'll save another pity soul, not only mine? I don't say that I strictly follow my all rules and you'll never find me crying in my pillow and discussing about life with my own reflection again. I'm still developing as a person, I still discover myself day by day. So instead of judging, you may just help me.

The title of this post is a line from The Courteeners' song Not Nineteen Forever, I put it in the post about my birthday, I believe. So the song of the day is going to be a very good song All Alright by my beloved guys Fun.! Even they know we all be all alright.

Be brave to hold on

I Know You Believe In Me Too

I haven't written silly things for awhile. I've noticed that my recent posts about the accents and the role models turned out to be pretty successful, and it can't fail to be pleasant and motivating! While writing them I might not have done any researches, but I did put much more knowledge in them, more smart thoughts, less unnecessary information. I've been reading various writing tips, so focusing on one theme is one of them. I don't think I'm ready to focus my whole blog on one theme, but I should do for one certain post at least. For example, I did a post about being a role model - it was only about that, nothing else like "Hm, btw also, I bought new jeans a couple of days ago, and the weather isn't so fine, yeah". But I'm aware that I'm about to break this rule right here right now - I do want to put my latest news and little thoughts and emotions and notes here at once. One famous Russian YouTuber Kate Clapp shoots videos every Friday in which she talks about everything that comes to her mind and happens in her life, just many little facile topics she'd like to discuss but that aren't worth a separate video. That's what I want to do too! Yes, I might tell myself not to write about worthless stuff, but I feel the need, I feel eager about that. So haters gonna hate - even the heater inside myself - and I'm gonna do whatever I do in my own freaking blog. Period.

So haters gonna hate - even the heater inside myself - and I'm gonna do whatever I do in my own freaking blog. Period.

Oh yes, you might have noticed that my blog became wider and I have just used that strange quotation feature. One more yes. I don't only develop my writing skills but also experiment with the site itself. I try to make it more readable and more interesting. And not so long ago I found the source of my inspiration - Mark Manson's blog. Mr. Manson puts himself as "Author. Thinker. Life Enthusiast.", and he is indeed. I found him with one of my Facebook friend's sharing, and now I can't help appreciating this blog. I like Manson's style of writing first of all - it's so easy-going and sarcastic from time to time, and still serious enough. He opens subjects I'm interested in such as traveling, the crux of relationships or procrastination. Moreover, Mr. Manson is very attached to his readers and frequently makes us, readers, happy with e-mails with new material or asking about something. The most amazing thing is that the author isn't too busy yet not to answer the letters from his fans. I would answer too, if I was written, though. A long-long time ago I used to do such a tag as VERY INTERESTING BLOG. And I think this paragraph is a very good example. So go, read Mark Manson's blog and learn some lessons!

Yesterday Tatyana and I went to a yoga class held on our campus. We tried one class last year, but we didn't like it. Usually, we practice yoga ourselves with the help of YouTube videos. While the temperature was warm enough, we did yoga outside, now we practice it inside conformably. We do it for our own pleasure only, nobody forced us. My friend and I really find joy in doing yoga, and we can see our bodies change for the better. But of course, we can't be totally sure if we do the poses right, and we always search for new ways of developing our physical skills. That's why yesterday we went to that yoga class - to try something new. And we liked it! First of all, I liked the instructor. Our local yogi was a young man, 3rd-year handsome student, who immediately made a good impression by reaching out his hand to me, as I walked into the room, saying, "Hi, I'm Vanya, what's your name?" No class can be bad with a charming teacher, especially when you came to that class on your own. There were not so many of us: the instructor, 4 other girls, Tatyana and me. The room was all white, and I paid my attention to that right when I came in - white is my favorite color, you know (and red). The practice itself was intense enough for my body to hurt today, and that hasn't happened for awhile. But it means that I had some really nice training. So Tatyana and I agreed on attending that yoga class once a week and be great with it.

I think I never wrote about what I bought myself as present for my birthday! I received a couple of gift cards to my favorite shops from Cherry Lady and Andrew, so I bought the presents on them though I had to pay in excess anyway. So my main purchase turned out to be... the latest Beyonce's fragrance Heat Kissed! The funny thing is that I bought it without even trying it because there was no tester. But when I opened the box and finally smelled the perfume, I loved it! And Cherry Lady loved it too because her own fragrance smells very similar.


Another gift I treated myself with was a plush cat toy, the famous Internet Pusheen the cat! Yes, that's what being 29 is like - you buy luxurious perfumes and plush toys. So, talking about Pusheen, I'm so into this character! I enjoy scrolling the pictures - isn't it funny and cute? And when I opened the official online store, I was shocked - so many items with Pusheen the cat! But I'm not sure if my cat toy is an official one. And, by the way, to defense myself, this Pusheen in my only plush toy in the dormitory. Now I can't help joking about me being a cat lady. Not so funny, tbh, you know.

Cherry Lady took a photo of embarrassingly
happy me with my new toy

AND to finish this amusing post (and to let me finish my homework, frankly speaking) I feel like sharing the song of the day. Let it be... 3 songs! Because I haven't put any songs for some time and I'm known to always have something to listen to. My recent discovery is a bilingual track by the Australian singer Josef Salvat called Open Season (Une Autre Saison). I've known this singer before, I still like his song Hustler. But Open Season is much more positive, though. This song has the English-only version, but I like this English-French mix. Sometimes you can't even tell when Josef changes the languages, the track sounds so good. And the title of this post is one of this song's lines! Check it out!

Another choice is Papercut by Zedd featuring Troy Sivan. I heard this song on the plane to LA while listening to the whole Zedd's album True Colors, so I associate Papercut as well as all the other songs from the record with the city of angels and my great travel.

Not a fan of club music? I've got something for you too. The last song is going to be a slow, melancholic track Over You by Ingrid Michaelson featuring A Great Big World. It's so beautiful and sad at the same time. And I say no more.

Be brave

Role Model

The generation of my parents wanted to become cosmonauts, doctors, constructors. My generation wanted (or still wants) to become lawyers, psychologists, designers. I remember I wanted to become a psychologist too when I was about... 10 years old. Then when I first visited St. Petersburg, I came up with the idea of becoming a journalist, and it was a serious wish (I really prepared for the faculty of journalism) that lasted till... my second trip to St. Petersburg. Yeah, our North capital proved to be my turning point. Now I barely have an idea about my future in the meaning of profession. 

Well, yes, I say that I want to be a writer. But I know that I won't just sit down, easily write something and money will immediately start pouring on me. 

I'm sure to have the Master's degree after the Bachelor's one. I want to study for the Master's degree in another city, somewhere else; probably try St. Petersburg one more time. But lately I've started thinking about taking a break after finishing FEFU. Why? I don't know. To save money or to spend it, have some life? It's only my second year here, though, my choices and decisions can change. Also, I don't forget about my tutor's suggestion for me to get a degree in English somewhere abroad to become a professional English speaker/teacher/person. Still I'll need money for that.

I know I'll be able to earn some money giving private lessons. Moreover, I enjoy the work, though its existence depends on other people. Although I haven't tried it yet, but I guess working at school will make an office plankton out of me. I know every job can be a creative one, especially teaching, but I also imagine the amount of paperwork a teacher has, so I really doubt it. Of course, I'll have my school practice at the 4th year of university, so we'll see about everything. 

Translating things? I think I just need to try that even now. Just find some spare time, a little piece of a good material and try to make something decent of it. It'll be good as for my English so for my Russian. And it'll improve my writing skills, so I should just try it.

All in all, I'm a typical student now - too many plans, too little certainty. But I am certain in one thing. I know that no matter what I will do for a living, I want to be a role model. I wanna be a good role model for my little nieces firstly, for my future children, for people around me if they're interested. I want to be interesting for people. This idea came to me when I was told that my first cousin once removed had said "I want to attend a music school like Olga!" It made me feel so proud of myself. Some human being wanted to do something like me, and that human being was my relative. And I know that my elder sister's daughters really like me. I want them to look at me not only like someone who appears once in 6 months and is known to be their aunt but at someone who knows many fascinating stories, who knows how to behave, how to deal with the life. Of course, the main role models in their life are their parents, but there's always someone we think of as well when we make decisions or when we think about decent people in our lives, who influence our lives.

From the left: my mom, me with my gold medal for excellent
school education, and my Godmother

The person who influences my life this way is my Godmother. We don't meet too often, but if we have a chance I try to visit her with my mother (my mother and Godmother are kinda colleagues). I like to listen to my Godmother's stories, some life hacks, how she spent her latest vacation, where she has been and what she has seen. She also says that she always thinks of me, and it warms my heart.

Also, I sympathize our this-semester literature professor. She reminds me of my Godmother, they're like the same type of a person. You know, when you meet somebody, and (s)he resembles someone else you know in looks, in characters, etc. So I like how our literature professor treats us, how she presents her lectures. I watch her with my eyes open wide, follow the way she speaks and shows her attitude to various things, and I definitely see some of my Godmother's features. So I treat our literature professor as my university Godmother. These two women are my role models (after my own mother, of course). 

So what do I mean by being a role model? In my opinion, a role model

1. knows how to present him/herself. The way you walk, the way you talk shows so much about you. You are sure to know people who enchant everyone around only stepping in the room. They may not be famous or stereotypically attractive but you want to know them, you want to be around them.
2. knows the values of life. Money doesn't matter, the fullness of life does. Role models have some great experience you want to know and they will to share. 
3. motivates you without even knowing about it. When you see your role model or talk to him or her, you unconsciously wants to become better, to evolve and improve.

I don't mean role models are to be worshipped like cult figure and you should copy their appearance and moves. But I think it's good to have someone to look at in real life. Because of course we have idols - you all are aware of my love to Beyonce, but I don't consider her as my role model: I haven't meet Beyonce in person, I've never talked to her, never heard her life stories face-to-face. But once I do, Queen B will certainly be on my list.

So yes, this is what I want for sure. I want to be good. I want to provide my nieces and children and other people with the energy to motivate them to be better. I want to tell them my story, I want them to see the life from my point of view, want them to know what is right and what is wrong. I want them to know that "nothing is impossible. Don't let your dreams be dreams! JUST DO IT!" and so on. I want to be a role model.